Lala’s Journey

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign. Hi there family and friends and welcome to Awareness Fostering a more compassionate, empathetic and accepting society. This is episode number 26. Packed with lots of learning and lots of observations, bringing things into awareness and trying to help others at the same time. I want to thank you so much for watching or listening wherever you get your podcasts, whether it be past episodes, this current one, don't forget to like or subscribe wherever you get your podcast. That would be certainly much appreciated to keep this podcast platform and and episodes going as long as we can. Absolutely love doing these and trying to bring more things into awareness to help others on their mental health journeys. And that's what we're going to do here next with Lala's journey. She is up next exploring life after postpartum depression, panic attacks, agoraphobia. I hope I pronounced that right. Did I? Lala. [00:01:22] Speaker B: Agoraphobia. Agoraphobia. [00:01:25] Speaker A: Agoraphobia. Sorry. And ongoing struggles, also with depression. Hosted by Lala here tonight. She is a mother navigating these challenges of mental health while raising a 13 year old daughter. And this episode shares personal stories of struggle. We're going to dive into the progress and hope from it as well. It's going to provide a candid look at resilience along with self discovery and the effort it takes to find peace and healing along the way. So thank you so much for joining us here tonight, Lola. It certainly means a lot that you could, you could be on this episode. [00:02:04] Speaker B: Thank you for having me. [00:02:07] Speaker A: Absolutely. Even though you're a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. Hey, it's welcome when the topic is not hockey. But if the topic's hockey, it's Go Haves, go. I'm sorry, that's where we might differ. But it's all good, maybe. Oh, gosh. Okay. It's all good. It's all good. You just won't catch me saying go Leafs, go. Hope that's okay. [00:02:32] Speaker B: You just said it. [00:02:34] Speaker A: I know I did, right? Dang. Okay. It should be an interesting one when they open up the season. I believe it's this Saturday, right? [00:02:43] Speaker B: No, I think it's next Tuesday or something. [00:02:49] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't think it's this weekend, but next week sometime. Those two teams will battle it out to kick off the regular season. I'm in too much of Blue Jays mode in the meantime to follow the hockey schedule as of yet. Go Jays, go. Going for that playoff run. So welcome to the show. Lala. I want you to share a little bit about your journey through postpartum depression. It is Normal. I want to know how it shaped your life as a new parent. Why don't you start with that? [00:03:25] Speaker B: I got pregnant when I was 24 years old with my daughter, who just turned 13 on Thursday the 25th. I didn't really know that I was dealing with postpartum at the time. And it actually started while I was pregnant. I realized I was getting really angry that my friends were able to go out and I was stuck at home being pregnant and, you know, just the life of that I used to live, I couldn't live anymore being pregnant. I eventually had my daughter and I felt great. You know, it wasn't until she was about a month old those feelings kicked in again. Where all my friends are going outside, they're going to party, to clubs, to bars, and I'm stuck at home with a brand new baby. My postpartum didn't have anything to do with my daughter. It was more so that I didn't want anyone to watch her or to change her or to feed her. I wanted to be the only one to be able to do that. I burnt a lot of bridges, especially with my sister, for the fact that I seen her coming and going, living her life and me. Once again, I felt like I was stuck at home. It was hard. It's one of the hardest things that I've ever dealt with. Now at this stage in my life, I realize that I did suffer from postpartum. I unfortunately did not get the help for it because I didn't know that I was dealing with it. Finally, when my daughter was probably around 2 years old, I kind of just snapped out of it. I don't know how, but I just snapped out of it and life seemed to be really good. [00:05:30] Speaker A: Now, when you say just snapped out of it, like, was it because at two years old you noticed that your friends stopped partying or they started doing other things with their lives that made you less envious or. [00:05:47] Speaker B: Absolutely. Around that time, a lot of my friends were now having children of their own. And when she was 2, when my daughter was 2, I was almost 27, so, you know, I was getting a little bit older and the partying and all of that had stopped. But then I realized it was easier to do things with her. Going shopping, going to the mall, going out to eat. So I was able to bring her with me. And that's what kind of helped me. [00:06:24] Speaker A: Now in terms of like postpartum depression, what, what's the like, the pretense of it for you? Like, did you. This could be a difficult, sensitive Question to answer. Did you initially plan on having children? Did you want to have a. A child right off the bat, or was this unplanned? And if you don't feel comfortable answering, you don't have to. I'm just trying to. Just curious to see how it led to the feelings of being envious, of going out, because I think sometimes mothers, if they plan on doing it, they know that that consequence is a result of discipline, of wanting to have a child. So just curious to know how it. How it came on so quickly for you. [00:07:18] Speaker B: My daughter was unplanned, but I always knew that I wanted to be a mother, so figured out that I was pregnant. I was over the moon. I was very excited. I knew that's something that I always wanted to do, and I didn't know if it was gonna happen for me. And once it did happen, it was amazing. So I wasn't angry that I was pregnant. I. The opposite, absolute opposite. I remember going shopping and, you know, setting up her nursery and doing all of that, taking my prenatals, doing everything I was supposed to do to keep her safe. And I also have a tattoo. And since she was in my stomach, my promise to her was to keep her safe. And it's something that I live by still to this day. And that's why I really didn't understand where the postpartum came from, because I was. I was ecstatic. I was just over the moon to know that I was gonna. And especially having a daughter. She's my little mini me, you know, so. [00:08:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:28] Speaker B: So excited. [00:08:29] Speaker A: And I just want you to know that I. You know, I'm a firm believer in thinking that that's. Those feelings that you experienced are completely normal, and a lot of people go through them. So, you know, I think it's. That's a helpful idea when you have something to look forward to. Like you said, leaving the house and being able to do things in society that most people would say are normal. Going shopping with your child, just going to the park with them or something to get fresh air instead of being cooped up and home all day. I think that's a good start to helping people that may be struggling with it now, like, you know, to just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. There's some discipline now and some, you know, just to get through that those times. But it's. It's good that you shared that. So thank you for doing that. And I wanted to know also in terms of your symptoms, like, when did you first notice symptoms Of. Because you were telling me. Away from this episode. We chatted briefly about panic attacks and agoraphobia and how. How did they affect your daily life or how do they still currently affect your daily life? [00:09:48] Speaker B: So I'm currently homebound, which means I do not leave my home. I feel the most safe within my home. And if a lot of people don't know what agoraphobia is, it basically, it's an anxiety disorder where we feel our environment is unsafe, no matter the circumstances, and we feel like there's no escape. Agoraphobia randomly hit me back in 2018. I would like to say around there, living my life, going out every day, grocery shopping, everything I'm supposed to do. And these feelings just took over my body and I didn't know what was happening. [00:10:38] Speaker A: What do you think triggered it for you? Is there a certain trigger or no? [00:10:42] Speaker B: Yes. So panic attacks can bring on agoraphobia. In my case, very short backstory. After I had my daughter, I had lost a lot of weight, unhealthy weight. I started to gain my weight back, and I was at the mall, and I was in a store where I knew the guy, and he had commented on my weight gain. And it really embarrassed me. It really, truly embarrassed me. I had went home and I was very upset. And I remember calling my mom, and I said, I just can't believe that he would call me out, calling me fat. That really messed me up. And it was a couple days later. My dad had came over, and I just wasn't feeling well. I had went in my room, washed my face, did everything I had to do. And I called my dad from the living room. I said, Call 91 1. My body went limp. It felt like I got hot inside of my body. I started to shake. I couldn't breathe. EMS came, brought me to the hospital. That's a whole situation. [00:11:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:59] Speaker B: They told me I was fine to go home and rest, that my heart was okay. I knew my heart was okay. I knew it was more than that. I just didn't know exactly what. As I never really suffered from anxiety before. From that day that I left the hospital and I came home, I did not want to leave my house. I had to get neighbors to bring my daughter to the school bus. She was only in grade one at this time. I couldn't pick her up from school. She's now currently in grade eight and she plays sports. She's on the basketball team and the volleyball team. I have yet to attend one of her games. And it kills me. Absolutely kills Me inside knowing how much I'm missing due to this condition. [00:12:48] Speaker A: Does she, does she understand what mom's going through? Does she try to understand? Yeah. And it's, and it's difficult for a 13 year old. I can't even, you know, imagine. But it's good that she's not causing you any more grief than you've already been through. But see, that's what I, I, it really irks me on the inside too, to just know that that was the trigger was someone mentioning your weight and then that's what's made you spiral to. It was basically shame to not want to go in public. [00:13:27] Speaker B: Absolutely. So much embarrassment. And that day in the store, there was about like seven people in that store and it's a small store, so everyone heard it. And I just, I don't understand why are we still commenting or why have we ever been commenting on someone's weight or their looks? [00:13:47] Speaker A: Right. Doesn't make any sense. You know, it's, it's, you know, it's something where, and did they say it in a way that was hurtful? Right, that's what I'm guessing. [00:13:59] Speaker B: Yeah. He looked right at me and his exact words were, wow, you're getting fat. And mind you, I was pushing a hundred pounds at the time, so I might have gained 5 to 10 pounds. I was very, very small. [00:14:13] Speaker A: I'm sorry. Sorry. This was your family member though. This is a. [00:14:16] Speaker B: No, this was someone at a store inside the mall. [00:14:19] Speaker A: Just a random person. Employee. Wow. And that's, I mean, I, that's just completely wrong. It's different if you have like a family member or friend that if they see that there's some issues of, of weight gain, if there's like just a concern where they're like, are you okay? Or something, is everything okay? Or something. But if someone says it like that, that's just wrong. And I can understand the trigger in that aspect. I mean, I remember even as a kid, just sometimes where it's like, if you feel like, like I felt I was gaining weight and doctor told me you got to lose this amount of pounds. And it wasn't even like a, a situation, it's just like, hey, this is a, you know, a fact. You should drop some pounds. They told me, the doctor. So I, and then that would get me spiraling into being obsessive about weight and not wanting to be heavy and all this. So I, I get that because we are, I don't know, like deep down we are sensitive creatures. Like we, we hot. Sometimes society wants you to hide that and be like, no, it's. It's all good and you should just toughen up. But that's the wrong way about going about it. So listen, your trigger is justified and I can't imagine having to manage this situation. So you knew that this was a problem going forward though, for you after being triggered, what steps did you take to get support? [00:15:51] Speaker B: So after that comment, I was homebound for about two years. [00:15:56] Speaker A: Okay. [00:15:57] Speaker B: I know much about agoraphobia. I didn't know it. I was doing my research and all my symptoms had led up to that. I didn't know where to look for support at this point. I didn't have a family doctor to refer me to anybody. I didn't know where to start. And then the pandemic happened and I got myself better on my own, basically by just forcing myself to be outside. And it was great. I was good. But then the lockdowns came and then I was forced back in my house. And then it made sense to be agoraphobic during this time because where else are we? And I do know quite a few people that never suffered from anxiety or agoraphobia until the lockdown happened. So mess with a lot of people. [00:17:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I. Good. [00:17:02] Speaker B: Up until 2022 where I fell back in to agoraphobia. [00:17:10] Speaker A: Okay. When everything started to open up again, you were, you were hesitant to get back into the real world again and the normalcy of society before COVID Yeah. So take me through a little bit about how you handled this in terms of your experience, because you mentioned with depression and anxiety. I think I have a feeling that's all wrapped into agoraphobia, like a tightly knit, you know, like, you know, just. It's, it's, it's. It's in a. Got one of these things right here. This is what it's all. [00:17:50] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:17:51] Speaker A: My mother in law is knitting. That's what it's all wrapped into. Is. Yeah. Spirals is the anxiety. Agoraphobia, the. I would imagine it's. There's even probably the symptoms are similar to. Oh, what's that? The other condition. I don't know if it's a. When you are afraid to, let's say, be in a. In a tight knit environment. Like even for me, an mri and I get so concerned about the. What is it? [00:18:24] Speaker B: The. [00:18:26] Speaker A: What's it called? You know, when you're in an elevator, there's too many people packed there. [00:18:30] Speaker B: Claustrophobia. [00:18:32] Speaker A: What's it called? [00:18:33] Speaker B: Claustrophobia. You're claustrophobic. [00:18:35] Speaker A: Claustrophobic that's what the word I was. I'm like, oh, my gosh. It's lost the word for a second. So claustrophobic, I'm sure that is wrapped into agoraphobia as well. So how have your experiences with depression and anxiety influenced the way you parent your daughter? [00:18:55] Speaker B: So very good question. My depression is basically brought on from being agoraphobic because I'm within the same space every day, and that gets depressing. You know, I want to be able to go outside. When I'm at home, my anxiety is pretty much at bay. I'm good when I'm. But when there's, like, situations coming up or when my daughter's sick and has to go to the doctors, that's when everything starts coming out because I start freaking out. How am I gonna do this? How am I going to do this? Bring her here, go there. And then it's like a circle because then the depression kicks in. Like, you can't take your daughter to the doctors. [00:19:50] Speaker A: You can't. [00:19:50] Speaker B: You can't go to her game. You can't walk her to school. It's just. It's honestly such a vicious cycle. I have missed out on so many life events. My sister got married in 2023 of June. [00:20:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:08] Speaker B: I asked to be her maid of honor. I had to back out. I was not able to commit to. To be there. But I made it to the wedding. I showed up to the wedding. Yeah. I only stayed. I shouldn't say only. I stayed about seven hours. Was it overwhelming? Absolutely. Was it worth it? I have one sibling and one sibling only, and that's my sister. And I knew there was no way, come hell or high water, that I was gonna miss her day. Whether I was standing beside her or just being in the audience, I knew I had to make it. So with agoraphobia, if you put your mind to it, as hard as it is, you will get there. It's a lot of pushing, it's a lot of crying. It's a lot of freaking out overall, but it's literally mind over matter. And I can't stress that enough because our minds are so strong. [00:21:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:16] Speaker B: But when you push yourself, you know you can do it. And there's been a few situations that I had no choice. I had to push myself, and I did do it. [00:21:26] Speaker A: So would you say exposure therapy helped you exposing yourself to the fear? Being at your sister's wedding, I know your insides were probably a little shredded, but you put on the game face. And that's the thing, is that these are invisible conditions, and people are not realizing it. It's just like, you know, what would you say for, like, let's say you get there and you have just a couple of drinks and you have them quickly. Would that help you calm your nerves or would that make it worse at a wedding? Let's say. [00:21:58] Speaker B: So for me, if I had a drink, I could leave my house. I call it liquid courage. And I'm not quoting drinking to anyone. [00:22:12] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:22:13] Speaker B: But there are certain situations, you do what you got to do. [00:22:17] Speaker A: Yeah. A drink or two to just take the edge off, right? [00:22:20] Speaker B: Yeah. Because I'm personally on any kind of medication, because I have a fear of medication. So I'm not on anything to help me. But if there's a certain situation, if, you know, you have a drink, it does calm you, I say go for it. [00:22:39] Speaker A: Yeah. And so what's your daughter's favorite artist, like, musician? [00:22:49] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. She loves Tyler the Creator. [00:22:52] Speaker A: Tyler the Creator. If she goes to and says, mom, I got these tickets to go to Tyler the Creator. I won them from a radio station. And she wants to go with her mother to this concert, what would. What would be your answer to her? How would you respond? Or has that already come up? [00:23:11] Speaker B: Yeah. So she actually just seen him in July. Her. I made her a promise. She is obsessed with One Direction. We know is not going on tour, but I made her a promise, and I hope I can keep this promise. And I hope it even happens that when Harry Styles goes back on tour, I will be there, front row with her. That is what promised her. I will do everything in my power to make that happen. [00:23:45] Speaker A: Yeah. Very good. Very good. I mean, and it's. Listen, I think even if you fail, you gotta give yourself credit for trying. Like, if you. If you last, like, maybe 30 minutes, maybe you last one, one or two songs, you tried. And I think people need to realize that, too. When you're dealing with these types of situations, they're very sensitive in nature. So this is obviously like an ongoing challenge, and mental health is. Is different for everybody. They could be an ongoing daily challenge, or it could be something where it's like, people go to therapy and they're like, yeah, I'm good. Don't need therapy anymore. But I know for. For me, for example, it's. It's an ongoing, you know, battle. It's a. It's a daily thing. You got to manage it. You got to find ways of coping. And I don't like getting on my high horse and saying, I'm over it. Because I don't think it's an it ever goes away. It's more like a how do we just stay sane today? How do we just stay level headed and don't get too high, don't get too low, just stay in the midd and because I don't want to spiral, I don't. And it could be a spiral at any time, no matter what. But I just feel like staying calm, grounded is my sort of where I want to be. And I'm just interested to know for your coping abilities the ongoing challenges of this mental health struggle. How do you do that while maintaining daily responsibilities? [00:25:19] Speaker B: I had found an amazing psychotherapist. She was absolutely brilliant. For me personally, therapy just isn't for me. I just feel me talking about all my issues is just not healing me going outside. If I'm going to be honest, as of right now, I'm not handling anything. I'm, I'm struggling very badly. I am. But I will say things that keep me at ease. Is routine a schedule? I have a schedule. Every morning I wake up at 5:30, I pack my daughter's lunch, I get her up, once she leaves, I clean. I bought myself a walking pad because exercise is really good for the brain. [00:26:17] Speaker A: Movement medicine. Yeah. [00:26:19] Speaker B: As I get on my walking pad I just have a routine throughout the full day and some people boring. But that's what keeps me sane. [00:26:31] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that one. [00:26:34] Speaker B: I fall off that schedule. I just feel like, oh my goodness, what am I gonna do with myself? So structure. Well that's what keeps me going on a daily basis. [00:26:46] Speaker A: Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Structure is, is super important and I'm glad you have that in your life. You were also mentioning the progress you made with, you know, at two years old you, you found a way to snap out of the, snap out of the. How do I call the. What were you dealing with again? No postpartum depression. Right. And I don't want people to take that offensively, that it's like just like a. Oh. So you know, because partners or people what not will say like hey, just snap out of it. But it's not a thing where you can just snap out of it at any time. Maybe the person themselves can say it, that they, they did. But you, you, you found a way to overcome it because of the things that you could look forward to. Right. So can you describe any other moments of progress or breakthroughs in your mental health journey? [00:27:49] Speaker B: Yeah. For example, back in August, my daughter has never been for a pedicure. And I said I Want to be the one to take you and let's go. I found that to be a massive achievement to be able to do that with her. Just going out for walks. That is huge for me. A lot of people with agoraphobia have, like, a safe person that they're able to go outside with. I have not found my safe person yet. I'm not saying my daughter isn't, but I don't want to depend on her for everything. She is only 13 years old, and she doesn't deserve that. But I've had a lot of progress. But it's also. It comes and then it stops. There's days that I could go to the lobby of my building and check my mail, and then there's other days that there's no way I'm able to even open my front door. And one thing I do want to mention is because I've got a lot of comments. Being agoraphobic does not equal you being lazy. [00:29:01] Speaker A: Right? [00:29:02] Speaker B: That's such a misconception and a misunderstanding. Oh, you're home all day. You must be lazy. No, my house is spotless. I cook, I clean, I do everything I need to do. I take care of myself. I take care of my daughter. Like, I'm not. [00:29:22] Speaker A: Are you on medication for it or. [00:29:25] Speaker B: No, I'm not. I have, like, this big fear of medication. I've seen people on certain medications, and they're just zombies, and I'm scared that's gonna happen to me. I can't sleep all day. You know what I mean? I don't judge. Medication works for you. I love it. Me, I'm terrified of everything. [00:29:49] Speaker A: And. And listen, it's every. You know, to each their own. If you feel like you can manage without the medication or if it's gonna cause other side effects like you, we just don't know. It's hard to judge that. But you're. You know, you're. The thing is, is you're finding ways to cope, and structure is a. Is a big one of them. Like you said, routine helps you to persevere. How would you define resilience? And how has your. Your understanding of it evolved over time? [00:30:26] Speaker B: At the beginning, I did not know what was happening to me whatsoever. Didn't know why I was not able to leave my home. Through a lot of research and, like I mentioned, therapy, I started to understand a lot. I believe we're all bigger than we think we are. We have very strong minds, and once you put your mind to it, we'll do it. This is not a Forever thing. We will be able to push through. It might not be today, it might not be tomorrow, but we will all get through it. Giving up for me is not an option. I. I don't want to be homebound the rest of my life. I will get better. I have a few friends that suffer from agoraphobia as well, and they are now getting outside. They're able to do things within the vicinity of our area. Yeah, we're gonna get better. This. This cannot be life. Yeah, I know. [00:31:36] Speaker A: So go ahead. [00:31:38] Speaker B: I know that this just isn't for me. I'm not gonna be like this. My birthday's coming up. I'm turning 38. I've been like this since 2018. That's a long time. I'm not. [00:31:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm sure what. What made things worse too, for you would. Would have been the COVID era, where there was probably positives and negatives. The positive thinking you could. You could probably be at home unjudged and just live your life and that. That part of you was happy about it. But even just trying to go outside would. Would make you. The anxiety skyrocket as well because of just being around people and, and what the, you know, the COVID was all about during the height of it. Yeah, I imagine that must have been really a difficult time. And, and. And can I ask about. I mean, you have your 13 year old daughter. What happened to your partner or who do you. Are you able to shed some light on that? [00:32:39] Speaker B: Yes, absolutely. We are not together, but I will say, hands down, he is the most amazing dad that I could have ever asked for. Things that I can't do outside of the home, he does with her. He. He's great. Like, me and him might not have a great relationship and that's okay, but he loves his daughter. He will bend over backwards for her. Like, he will do everything. Does it suck that I'm not able to join and do these things? Absolutely. But it also gives me a little bit of peace of mind that she has her dad. My sister is also another huge part of my life that takes my daughter to cottages, takes her to concerts, does a lot of things outside of the home. So I am very thankful for my daughter's dad because I would be lost without him. [00:33:46] Speaker A: It's good to know that you're thankful and that you're on. You're still on good terms. What role has self discovery played in your healing process? Healing journey, Self discovery. [00:34:06] Speaker B: I don't know how to answer this. [00:34:08] Speaker A: If not, I can. We don't have to. I mean it's your self discovery. So like sort of your self awareness, what you've noticed about yourself, has it played into any sort of healing your self awareness through a lot of what you've been going through? Is it mostly the routine? Are there any other things? Is it, is it the early to bed, early to rise, maybe to. If that's more. If it's a difficult answer, I can, I can move on. It's okay. [00:34:49] Speaker B: It's not difficult. I don't know if I'm that far yet to know exactly what does it for me sit here and preach. But I am a believer in God. Prayer has helped me. I do pray. I. I do. Like you said the schedule, I do go to bed really early as well. I'm normally during the week by like 9, 9:30 up at 5:30 schedule. That's what kind of just keeps me going right now. And I don't want to sound like cliche or anything, but my daughter, she is also one of my biggest reasons to keep trying and pushing and just trying to reach it. Just trying to get. [00:35:40] Speaker A: She's your purpose right now? [00:35:41] Speaker B: Absolutely, 100%. [00:35:43] Speaker A: So the. Have you heard from doctors saying that like in terms of agoraphobia, does it eventually, do the symptoms subside at all as the years go on when someone's struggling with it, can you make a full recovery from it? [00:35:58] Speaker B: You absolutely can. Exposure therapy, they will not trust it enough. Exposure therapy is pretty much the only thing that will help you. Medication will help the anxiety factor, but the actual getting outside is just keep trying, just keep getting out there. You just got to keep doing it. [00:36:28] Speaker A: So is that the advice that was going to lead me to what I was going to ask you next in terms of advice that you would give to someone struggling with postpartum depression or agoraphobia, what would that advice be? [00:36:42] Speaker B: My advice would be first and foremost, do not give up because life is so beautiful, it is so precious. We only get one exposure therapy, whether it is small or big exposure. For me, I live in a building so even just walking to the elevator, little by little you will accomplish it. You will get through it. Don't rush yourself. Don't get discouraged when you're unable to do that exposure. But keep trying. Just keep pushing, keep trying. There is light at the end of the tunnel. [00:37:27] Speaker A: That's good to know. I think I've lost my connection a little bit here. [00:37:32] Speaker B: I can't see you. [00:37:34] Speaker A: Can't see me. Yeah. I don't know what happened there. Just for the YouTube part of it, but I can move on. It's okay. So, you know, I just want to know, how do you find hope and motivation on days when mental health feels overwhelming? [00:37:54] Speaker B: It's hard. And I'm not going to sit here and say that it's easy, but I always remind myself that someone has it worse. I'm healthy. For the most part, I'm happy, I'm alive. And you just. You just got to keep going because that minute that you give up, that's when it's done. So my is just. Just wake up. I'm normally a very bubbly person. I'm always smiling. I'm trying to, you know, make the best out of my days. And that's what gets me through it especially. I have a great support system. My parents, my sister, my daughter. I also have a group chat on messenger with friends all over the world. It's called Tea time. Yeah, they are huge. A huge part of my daily routine. They keep me going. Friends. [00:38:54] Speaker A: That's amazing. Yeah, really is to have a good support system, others that know what you're going through and. Yeah, to have that type of a chat and connection with others is. Is fantastic. So, finally, what would you want listeners to take away from Lala's journey? To take away, like, just as in, what would they. What would you want them to learn most about our discussion here today? [00:39:24] Speaker B: I just want everyone to know that. Speak on your mental health. Because I was quiet for so many years and. And now I'm not. Don't hide it. Don't be embarrassed that you struggle with whatever disorder, condition that you struggle with, speak on it and be proud of it. This is a part of who we are, and there's nothing to be embarrassed of. [00:39:54] Speaker A: Amen. Amen. Amen. [00:39:57] Speaker B: Keep pushing. Smile. Smile. My dad has always told me there's always better days, and it's. It's the truth. We will always have a better day. [00:40:10] Speaker A: Yeah, a bad day doesn't necessarily mean a bad life. So there you go. Thank you so much, Lala, for doing this and joining Awareness the Podcast. Really appreciate it. [00:40:20] Speaker B: Thank you so much for having me. [00:40:22] Speaker A: Yep, this has been episode number 26 of awareness the Podcast, fostering a more compassionate, empathetic and accepting society. Apologize for the last few moments of the YouTube disconnection there, but appreciate you watching, listening to wherever you get your podcast, and don't forget to like and subscribe. That would certainly mean a lot. And thanks again to Lala for the great producer, Mike. My name is Rob Daniels and thank you for watching listening wherever you get your podcasts. I'll see you in the next episode.